September 2025 - On Vigils and Peerage

Or: Matildis gets philosophical

I know most of my blog posts are full of pictures, but not this time. This time, I have thoughts to work out and put on a page, which I hope will still be educational, just in a different way from my usual posts. This weekend, I spoke at someone's vigil, and for perhaps the first time, I felt like I had something useful to say. I thought it would be worthwhile to share the gist of those words here.

A bit of background

Let's pause for an explanation for my non-SCA or new-to-SCA readers: our organization has several awards available for participants to earn, either for their volunteer service, or for skill in the various arts or sport activities that we embrace within the Society. The highest of these awards are called Peerages, and they are a Big Deal; they are not only an accolade for the work you've already done, but also come with responsibilities that you are expected to carry out going forward.

There's a whole ceremony that goes with receiving a Peerage, and part of that ceremony for many recipients is the practice of a vigil. In romantic tales (and possibly also in history, but I'm not sure on that part), knights would "sit their vigil" by spending the night in a chapel reflecting on their deeds, their past, and their future, and try to dedicate themselves to living a noble and honorable life, both on and off the battlefield. In the SCA, vigils are for anyone receiving a peerage, not just knights. While particular details might vary from person to person, in general, a vigil looks a bit like a wedding or graduation reception, with food and celebration, while the guest of honor collects well-wishes and advice on the responsibilities they are about to accept. The vigilant usually sits in a private space and receives visitors one by one, having conversations that are theirs to treasure and remember in the years to come.

My own vigil was managed beautifully by my friends, but it was done at a relatively small event, with very short notice - I was placed "on vigil" in the morning at that event, and then elevated the same day in the afternoon. So while I have no complaints, I nevertheless didn't get a ton of time to collect advice; also, I tend to overthink and worry about whether I am doing well at things that mean a lot to me. I've spent the three years since my elevation wondering if I really had any idea what I was doing, whether I was truly ready for the responsibilities of the award, and whether I really had or deserved the respect of my fellow Peers.

Fortunately, this also means I've spent those three years thinking seriously about what Peerage means. So this weekend, when it came time for me to speak to the vigilant and offer advice, I finally felt like I had something worthwhile to say on the subject.

So, after that unnecessarily long introduction, here are my thoughts.

Matildis's advice to new peers and peer-aspirants

1. Disclaimer: ask any three Peers and you'll get five different opinions on literally any of this stuff. These thoughts are mine, but they may not be yours or anyone else's, and that's fine.

2. I view the award structure of the Middle Kingdom - AOA level, Grant level, and Peerage level - as a ladder. You climb from competence, to excellence, and eventually reach mastery in your chosen discipline, no matter what the discipline happens to be. Upon reaching excellence, throw in teaching. Upon reaching mastery, throw in character.

   1. Skill: self-explanatory. Are you competent at what you do? Cool, let's recognize that. Have an award.

   2. Teaching: Ah, you've been at this a while, and you're getting really good at it. Nice! But there's more to your art than just skill; once you reach excellence, it's time to throw in teaching. (Not every reign focuses on the teaching aspect when they hand out awards, but again, this is my view of the structure.)

      1. Teaching doesn't have to mean public speaking in front of a class full of students, but you do need to be sharing your knowledge in some way. Blogs work. Writing articles for newsletter publication works. Social media posts, one-on-one conversations, you name it. Just share what you know and spread enthusiasm for what you do.

   3. Character: You've been at this long enough that you really know your stuff. You teach. People recognize you as knowledgeable in your discipline. Awesome! Now let's take a look at you as a person. Are you someone that we can point to and tell new folks, "be like them"? Are you an inspiration in some way? Are you a leader? Can we hold you up as an example of the ideals of Chivalry, Courtesy, and Honor that the Society strives for? Ah. Now you're ready. Now you're a Peer. Now, it's a matter of time before you are acknowledged and recognized as the Peer you already are.

      1. Character is by far the most important of these three traits. Ironically, you've spent so much time getting good at your discipline, and now it is perhaps the least important of the three traits. As they say in martial arts, once you receive a black belt, you're finally ready to begin learning. You can break new ground in an art that no one else is doing, and the people who come after you will all be better than you at it, as they build on what you began. Plus you'll continue learning and growing in your discipline throughout your career in the SCA anyway. If you're a phenomenal artist, but you're not trustworthy, if you're not sincere, if you're arrogant, if you look down on people who aren't "at your level", you're not a Peer and you likely never will be. You could be a world-renowned expert in your chosen discipline. Don't care.

      2. Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.

      3. Matildis's rephrasing: Know your shit. Teach your shit. Don't be a shit.

3. Moving on. Peers aren't made. They are recognized. This is an oft-repeated saying, but it's true. If you receive this award, there are at least a Sovereign and a Consort who view you as already worthy to be called a Peer. This is why so many vigilants or aspirants receive the frustrating advice to "keep doing what you've been doing." What you've been doing either was already enough to get you recognized, or it's clear that you're on the right track and it's just a matter of time before you are recognized.

4. We are often told that Peerage is a job, so it can be frustrating when you're about to enter a new phase of your career to look for advice and be given, in essence, nothing. What can you expect from the Order you're about to join? What are your responsibilities? "Keep doing what you've been doing." Okay, but what does that mean?

   1. It's possible I'm more neurodivergent than I realized.

   2. My answer: Your Peerage is what you make of it. There are wrong ways to be a Peer, yes, but there is no single right way to be a Peer. Some of us stop teaching in order to make room for newer folks to have the opportunity to share their knowledge. Others continue to teach because it's what they're good at. Some Peers take on a mentorship role immediately, some wait a while until they feel ready. Some of us make it a point to attend specific events where our expertise would come in handy, others make it a point to seek out other worthy candidates for consideration. Some of us feel like we've reached the pinnacle in the discipline that got us recognized, so now it's time to focus on a completely new one! None of these is wrong.

      1. Okay, so what is a wrong way to be a Peer? Remember what I said about character? Don't be arrogant. Don't dump all over someone's work just because it's not up to your personal standards. Don't break someone's heart who is just getting into a discipline and still loves it. Don't be the reason someone quits the SCA.

5. Here's another oft-repeated saying: You will be the first Peer someone meets, and you may never know it. This kind of piggybacks on what I just said in the previous paragraph. Like it or not, "Peer fear" is a thing; some people take "rank" in the SCA seriously enough that they get nervous speaking to Peers, or take their words more to heart than they would any other random stranger. Be kind. You don't have to be "always on," or watch your words so carefully that you become paranoid. You can't really control how other people react, but you can set the stage so that they're more likely to react well. You can try to be non-intimidating. You can encourage others in their disciplines. In fact, that is an important section of your oath when you are elevated to Peerage, regardless of which one.

In conclusion

I'm a Laurel in the SCA, which is the arts Peerage, but I tried to write this post to apply to service and the arts martial as well. Peerage is a job, it's a responsibility, and it can be hard to know how to do it well. It can be hard to know if you want to become a Peer in the first place! If you do want it, it can be hard to know whether you're ready. Personal growth is hard, and feeling worthy is harder. But I think almost none of us really feel like we know what we're doing, and maybe that's a good thing. Staying humble is important, and if we stop questioning our worthiness, we might no longer be deserving of the accolade we've been given.

In giving this advice this weekend--wow, was it really only yesterday?--I made myself cry a little. Partly I think I was giving advice that I had hoped to hear myself, three years back. But partly, I felt like I was finally doing something with my Peerage that would really and truly help someone else. Like I finally got it right. Like I finally figured out my own path and how to walk it. If these words help you too, then that's icing on the cake.

As the famous commercial says, Stay thirsty, my friends. Keep reaching, keep striving, but above all, be kind.